I had had really bad days on earth but today… Really really ‘badder’! I limped out of the room where my blood had just been shed in pain and agony. I wasn’t crying but tears flowed! I didn’t have catarrh prior to this forceful intercourse but now, mucus flowed unstopped from my nostrils! I was not so surprised that I was maltreated but I was flabbergasted that it could come from dad…and in that terrible manner. I turned to look back at the door and he was there smacking his lips in an ‘I want more’ manner. He looked like those hungry blood-thirsty vampires and werewolves. My heart yowled I heard mum’s laughter and I looked towards the bathroom. She had soapy bubbles on her hands as she looked towards me. She was laughing uncontrollably. “He has gone to deal with your evil spirit, right?” she laughed on. Evil spirit? Really…was that the only thing she could see? “He even broke your legs” she laughed even harder. Couldn’t she see far beyond that? What was she whining about? What was so funny? Couldn’t she see that I was walking with such great difficulty? Couldn’t she see blood on my cloth? Couldn’t she hear noise from the room while the deed was been done? Couldn’t she see? Couldn’t she see that her ‘deacon’ husband had gone into a minor? Was she that blindly insensitive? Huh!
“I told you that my husband could be more dangerous than I. All his niceness was just a camouflage. He even beats me when I mess up. So who are you!” she laughed loudly again. I heard her children’s giggles too. I turned to continue my seemingly unending journey to
my room, feeling the tingling pains in between my legs. As I managed to get inside the room that I shared with Sissy, I locked the door with finality. I flung myself to the bed and wept frenziedly. What a nightmare! “I love this. I love that. I am the first to rip you open. I am glad that I can touch a virgin’s spilt blood. I am glad” he had said like a dramatic fool with such glee! He went on his knees with his fists thrown in the air like a victorious gladiator in a ring! I saw it like a 6D camera…
I screamed as if my eyes were being plucked out. The memories of the five minutes thrust haunted me…
“I love you…I love you…I loved you since I saw you as a baby…I nurtured this thought since then… it’s a dream come true” he said as he destroyed my life, looking deeply into my teary eyes
Love? So this is love? This is what it means when people say ‘make love’ Love my foot! I’d rather hate than ‘Love’ this way! “Don’t cry. Aren’t you loving it?” he said again as he laughed. The more he said that, the more I hated him. The more I wished to stab him dead on the spot, exposing his dirty act to the whole world. “Jesus, this is fucking great!” he exclaimed with great ecstasy as he brushed his sweaty smelly nose against my cheek. So Jesus is even aware of all these? Their Jesus could allow this to happen to an innocent girl like me… He could mention His name in this dirty act and he didn’t act or do anything? I thought they said He was powerful? Why did He create sex? Why couldn’t He stop this beast? Why couldn’t He send fire and brimstone from heaven? Couldn’t He? Why?
“There is no Jesus!…if peradventure I am wrong, then. He is not powerful! He isn’t a savior” those words poured out of my mouth accompanied by my tears. Wouldn’t He strike me down?
Wouldn’t He slap me for blasphemy? I waited as I listened quietly, tears still streaming down I heard nothing I saw nothing! “Maybe there isn’t any Jesus or God or whatever anyways” I concluded as I fell to the ground. It hurts! It pains! The pain in my tummy, down my legs made my thin legs to shiver uncontrollably. I had never felt that way before. As I felt the cold shiver down my spine and I shook vigorously, it felt as if my heart wanted to jump out of its cage. It was that bad!
There was a knock at the door. “Open this door” Mum called from outside I looked towards the door and it looked so far. How many minutes would it take for me to get to the door? That would be ages… “My children are late for school. Open this door” She banged louder. Tears streamed down my face again. I wish I could garner strength from somewhere but I couldn’t. I looked towards the wardrobe and there was Sissy’s uniform I wished I could draw it out magically so that she could have it but no…I couldn’t! I was so weak that I couldn’t move a finger. The coldness of the bare floor gave me such comfortability that I had to just concur to its embrace and acceptance.
“Are you crazy Mercy? Better don’t let me utter what is in my mouth because if I do, the ground would be higher than you” she shouted I didn’t move. I knew it was very dangerous. I knew that I had aroused such anger that if she caught me, the ground would have me in, buried lifelessly but I
couldn’t move. I could just cry…
…And I did it well!
“Bobo, get me the electric kettle with the water in it. I will cook someone to death today.” She said angrily and she meant it! She doesn’t make empty threat But I didn’t stand up. It was soothing as it touched my tummy directly. What was that? It was like a hot pack against my hurting tummy. I tried lifting my hand and I cringed as I touched it…. Hot water! She sent hot water streaming down from under the door. Chai! I tried to move away as I saw more steaming streams
coming towards me. “Mummy please” I screamed as I moved my sore body away from the door side “Open this door, you fool!” she screamed the more. I shook my head as I could feel burns all over my body. My tears continued on their trails.
“Dear, wouldn’t you come and talk to this fish for me? Sissy’s uniform is inside the room and she doesn’t want to open the door” she screamed. “Knock harder” I heard his voice faintly from afar. “It’s 8 o’clock already Mr. Man…the school bus is already around. Can’t you hear the honking? Come and break this door down for me please” she cried out again. “I’m in the bathroom” he replied. “Oh God! What a mess! Mercy, just know that you are dead today. You are really dead today” she said in a shaky voice that was determined to do anything. “Get me more hot water” I could hear her voice once more but I drifted off into sleep, pillowing my head with my hands as more hot streams splashed into my sore tummy and legs. I felt it really bad. But I didn’t care …not anymore!
I stretched as I wiped the drool off my mouth. Where was I? Has it all been a dream?
A bad, scary dream? The pain from my tummy down my lower rib jabbed me up. I remembered so clearly what had happened. And it dawned on me that I was in a great huge mess because of what I had done. I jumped to my feet and though I could still feel the pain, it had reduced. For how many minutes had I slept? Chai! Soup don cook for me! My heart started beating fast as I walked to the door “Mum?” I called out I had no response. I peeped through the keyhole and it was dark. She must have left. I needed to brace up courage and bath. I staggered to the adjoining bathroom and as the water from the shower ran through my hair into other parts of me, I wished it could wash me away too. The entire me!
Minutes later, I mopped my body and wore my school uniform. As I was about pulling my hair into a ponytail and wear my sandals, there was a soft knock at the door. They hadn’t left? Oh my God! “Mercy’ it was a cool voice Whose voice was that? I walked to the door and turned the key twice. I opened the door. Splash! Hot water came travelling from the bowl mum held in her hands. Just like in cartoon series, I quickly bowed and turned my side towards her in a movie-like slow motion. The look on her face was murderous. As the hot liquid washed the outer layer of my right
hand, my side and my leg away, I fell to the ground with a loud thud, banging my head on the bed I screamed as my head seemed to be off my body. Her revengeful laughter rang on in my ears like a killer bell before I started drifting away. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I repeated silently as my spirit walked away gently and gradually from my body. I heard the many loud bangs at the door “Mama Mercy!” people called out urgently, banging the door. “Mercy!” I heard my friend who was our neighbor’s maid, Alice call out. I smiled ruefully. Alice came too late.